Watching Thor

Today started quite well for a Monday.  Principally, of course, because it was Tuesday.  The real Monday was consumed by a public holiday leaving me to cope with yet another four day work week.  With the risk of drowning in my own post-nasal drip now diminished to normal levels, it could very well be a good day.  Indifferent sort of work day then on to the local urban centre where I went to spend money on my computer.  It also houses the nearest cinema to me.  I haven’t been for some time; last time was a great bargain.  I paid for one movie.  I saw one movie.  But I heard the soundtrack of two.  This time I went for the louder movie.  Thor. 

Directed by Kenneth Branagh who also directed one of my favourite movies of all time, Peter’s Friends.  Thor, the movie, is good looking, enjoyable popcorn fodder.  It stars Natalie Portman, who I will pay to watch even if she is reading a telephone book.  Some oaf spoiled the experience somewhat.  He arrived late.  Then in a cinema containing 100 seats, 7 occupied at the time, he chooses to sit right next to me.  Babbling to the half-wit accompanying him as they plod through the dark.  A feeling that is probably the norm for them.  These are not enlightened beings.

I tolerated the lummox’s phone light as I thought he was switching it off.  The cretin then proceeded to appropriate both arm rests for himself.  In the process his elbow got stuck in my side.  After a minute or so, he removed his arm, only to let his leg hang wide, once again leaning on me.  Clearly the imbecile was incapable of independently moving his limbs.  I then moved up one seat, freeing myself from the sprawling simpleton.  This allowed me to get immersed in the world of the movie.  5 minutes before the end of the film, the troglodyte’s phone rings.  And he answers it!!!!  I then address him using a verb meaning sexual congress and order him to switch it off.  Which remarkably he was able to do without the aid of the pictures in the manual.

It is people like this that fuel the home cinema idea.  I refer you to the 10 rules of the cinema, as devised by my favourite film reviewers.  Punish those that break these rules harshly.