I went
looking for Morgan’s Wine shop and Champagne Bar in the upmarket Bellville party
street named Edward. When I could not
find it there (allegedly moved to Tygervalley Shopping Center), I was lured
into Hooters. A bit of a let down, this
branch of Hooters. With a name like that
you would expect that the staff should have some. On the back of their shirts it says “Delightfully
tacky, yet unrefined”. (1) They might as well have put
it on the front as it would still have been very readable. Not disturbed by undulations at all.
I had
the second biggest pair in the room. I wasn’t even a close second. You should have seen the guy that beat me to
the title. There was a coin operated
breathalyser mounted on a wall. What a good
idea. I had no need that day as I drank
only sugary fizzy drinks. Traffic in
town now scares me so much I need all of my meagre wits to drive. For nourishment I ate a burger as both the
idea for the venue and the food originated in America. Hooters offers you the patty rare, medium or
well done. What sort of pretentious snob
orders a rare hamburger patty? One like
me, I found out. I also found out that
rare means cold. The baked beans made
for an unusual side dish. Verdict on the
food: passable. But then again I don’t
think that is their main selling point.
On to
the USP. The very lovely girl, Johanni,
served me. Girl? Yes, because that’s what the staff were. They had lovely legs, even if their upper
bodies did not conform to the establishment’s name. Back to my delightful waitress with the cool
green eyes, flowing brown hair and a smile that lit up the room, pierced my
heart and punctuated my age. The way she
bit her lower lip when she poured the coke; not wanting it to foam over. I just wanted to mother her ) (2) ). No stirring in the loins. No suppressed lust. Just a warm feeling inside me. Like a Care Bear ™ I wanted love to flood
from me. That, I guess, is it. The end
of an era that never was. Me the stud. Did I still tip her R100 on a R100 bill? But
of course. She came back to thank me when the she did the sums. What a well mannered child.
How to
top a day where you became acutely aware of your age? Find out that you are losing testosterone (3). It must be that. I bought something primarily because it was
pretty. Sure it has alcohol in it, but still the primary motivation was
prettiness. Swartland Winery did a 3 in 1 port, hanepoot and jerepigo gift pack
baby bottles fit into each other. When did I buy this? While manfully waiting for the new tires to
be put on my car.  |
| Told you they were pretty |
(1) Also describes me
(2)
Yes,
thank you. You are not Sigmund
Freud. Leave it.
(3)
Probably
more a problem that boy readers will associate with.
