Last week I acquired a sports injury.
Injury to be more precise. My sporting glory lies safely buried in
the last millennium. I hurt my shoulder doing, ehh, I am not sure
what. There was no AARRGHH-HAAA moment. For some time it was a
niggling thing (been watching cricket again I have) and then suddenly
one morning it was BLOODY HELL WHAT IS THIS FOR? Quick activities
review; looking for closed doors that needed persuading open? None. Heavy
lifting? No just my normal, if very substantial, self. Acts of
stupidity to impress a woman? Not this time. So I must have
slept myself an injury. The laziest injury of all.
For 3 days I tried self-medicating with
aspirin, Deep Heat, ineffectual rubbing and the psychological
approach. The last one essentially consisted of hoping it would go
away by itself, reasoning that if it arrived by itself, the return
journey should also be possible via the same road. Ineffectual
all of them. By now I am not sleeping well, have trouble dressing
myself and am mentally preparing for an amputation. So despite some
deep rooted fear of all things medical, I went to a physiotherapist.
First time ever. Because I've grown attached to my arm.
After a brief time filling in some
forms, I spent an even briefer time explaining my pain. Within
moments she figured out where to press to make the pain worse. Thus
clearly demonstrating she understood the problem. She showed no
pleasure in this, the giving pain bit. So I unclenched by teeth and
other bits and started to warm to the therapy.
She put an ultrasound to my shoulder.
Apparently it is not pregnant. I forgot the technical
reason(1), but it made it feel better. Some
massaging, some manual manipulation, always stopping shortly after my
unsuccessful attempt at hiding my low pain threshold. But after all that, it felt
a lot better. A moerse lot better. One of my more stupid doings,
waiting so long to get professional help.
I was shown some simple exercises and
told to put ice on it as long as I could. After 7 minutes the
Checkers store manager threw me out of the frozen peas section. I
also had to upgrade my pain medication to some anti-inflammatory type
thing. Luckily they knew exactly at the pharmacy.
“Oh and don't take these for too
long, it could have some nasty gastrointestinal side effects”
IT IS GOING TO ATTACK MY BIGGEST
ORGAN!! No way I am taking this medi ,BLIMEY CHARLEY, that hurt, OK
I will listen to the professionals. So here I am writing sinisterly,
occasionally pausing to adjust the once frozen Hawaiian stir fry,
thinking about the time my drinking arm worked painlessly.
(1) Oh, now I remember the technical
reason: I don't have a uterus in my shoulder.
